Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
Hay House Publishing
280 pp.
Nonfiction
Perfection. We all dream of living by it, feeling it, being it…
And it is in the name of perfection that we demonise our flaws, make ourselves ‘less-than,’ and render ourselves vulnerable to the shame of not being good enough.
We live in a society that subliminally encourages us to wear metaphorical masks, slay our inner sadness, and ignore our imperfections, or as Kristina refers to them, her ‘dragons.’ Even within the world of personal development and spirituality, toxic perfectionism lurks in the shadows.
In Kristina’s upcoming book Becoming Flawesome #BecomingFlawesome, she reflects on her own story, her battle against perfectionism, and what it took for her to return to what she now deems to be her most authentic self. Being described as “10 years worth of therapy in one book,” Becoming Flawsome is a celebration of our whole selves, warts and all, and the glory that is to be found in living in our truth.
Every chapter is closed with reflection points and exercises to encourage the readers to dive deep into the essence of who they truly are, what their values are, and how to navigate an oftentimes overwhelming world.
In this book, Kristina breaks the mould as she takes the reader on a journey through:
- The dark, controversial side of ‘personal growth,’ and the insecurities that thrive on it
- Self-care vs self-love, and why you need both
- What authenticity actually is, beyond the buzz
- The ‘Hermione Syndrome,’ and how to diagnose if you’re secretly suffering from it
- How to create aligned lifestyle habits that stick
- Why the more you judge others, the more you judge yourself
- Societal masks, and how to remove them from your psyche
- Imposter syndrome in the world of high-flyers
- Emotional literacy: how to cope with strong, painful emotions healthily
Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/mwtzj3jx
Mind Valley Books: https://www.mindvalley.com/books/flawesome
Chapter One:
AUTHENTICITY OF THE SECOND DEGREE
The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.
— RITA MAE BROWN
“I’ve missed you,” said my friend when I walked into the office one day. Without even thinking, I blurted out: “I missed me too!”
I said it, and suddenly, like a vinyl record that had been forcefully stopped with a screeching sound, I paused and gasped. I was missing myself. Myself?!
Don’t get me wrong. I was fully functional and operating at 100 percent. I was showing up in the office, attending meetings, going to events and costume parties, speaking on stage, hanging out with friends, and being an engaged parent. Some even called me an inspiration.
But I was moving around in a fog, living my life but, actually, just whiling away the time given to me. And while my life was happening, I was missing one important ingredient—myself.
When did I slip away and move on without noticing the missing protagonist of my own movie?
I was 40 when I started suspecting that I was living a lie. Not a bad lie. Not a complete and utter lie. Just a little pretending—a mask here and there, a little playing along to fit in.
Just about . . . 5 percent of a lie. And 95 percent true.
But can one be 95 percent honest and authentic? I think that authenticity and honesty are absolutes. Authenticity is binary. You are either authentic or not. And so is honesty—you are either honest or not. You cannot be mostly honest. Or mostly authentic.
There is this funny exchange in one of my favourite novels by Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita. The exchange happens between the main antagonist, Woland, and a manager of a restaurant. Woland says that the fish in the restaurant is rotten, and the manager replies: “It was delivered yesterday, it was second-degree fresh.” To which Woland replies: “There’s only one degree of freshness—the first, which makes it also the last. If the fish is second-degree fresh, it means it’s rotten.”
And so, by the age of 40, I was done with the “second-degree authenticity.” I longed to be myself, fully, unapologetically, 100 percent. I was lost. And I wanted to find the path back to myself.
Reflection Points
Throughout this book, I am going to invite you to pause for a moment and ask yourself questions.
I call such exercises “moments of introspection.” I believe that true growth is fuelled by curiosity. It is not my ideas that matter, but the questions that you ask yourself. And the first question that I invite you to ask yourself is this: Why did you decide to read this book?
What made you pick up a book about becoming flawesome and living authentically? Curiosity?
Advertising? Your own questions that you are trying to find answers to? And what do you expect to achieve by reading this book?
Your journey back to yourself is yours to take, and its success depends on how committed you are to this path.
About the Author
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani is an international speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist, and mother of 2 kids. As a co-founder of Mindvalley, a leading publisher in the personal growth industry, Kristina dedicated the last 20 years of her career from teachers like Michael Beckwith, Bob Proctor, Lisa Nichols, and many more.
She started her career in a government office in her native Estonia and, by her mid-20s, achieved a level of success mostly known to male politicians at the end of their careers. It was shortly after that Kristina and her then-husband Vishen founded Mindvalley. From a small meditation business operating out of the couple’s apartment in New York, the company quickly grew into a global educational organization offering top training for peak human performance to hundreds of thousands of students all around the world.
Kristina believes life is too important to be taken seriously and makes sure to bring fun into every one of her roles: as a teacher, mother, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and world traveller. Kristina helps her students to virtually hack happiness by taking them through her unique framework - “Hacking happiness” - a unique framework of balancing your life, taking in every moment, and paying close attention to the small daily choices.
Kristina is also the author of three transformational quests - "7 Days To Happiness", "Live By Your Own Rules.” and "The Art of Being Flawesome". Kristina talks about personal transformation, authenticity, understanding and accepting oneself, and a path to happiness.
In July 2023, with the help of Hay House Publishing, Kristina releases her very first book - "Becoming Flawesome" #BecomingFlawesome. In her book, Kristina shares her own journey from being on top of a personal growth empire like Mindvalley to stepping aside, conscious uncoupling from her husband, and walking her path towards being more honest with herself.
Website: https://kristinamand.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamand
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-mand-lakhiani-73168414/
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