Title: Between
these Walls
Genre: Christian/New Adult
Author: John Herrick
Website:
http://johnherrick.net/
Publisher: Segue Blue
Purchase link: http://www.johnherrick.net/betweenthesewalls/buybook.htm
SUMMARY:
The latest release by best-selling novelist
John Herrick, Between These Walls is
an extraordinary tale featuring an unforgettable protagonist, Hunter Carlisle.
About Between
These Walls: At 26 years old, Hunter
Carlisle has a successful sales career, a devoted girlfriend, and a rock-solid
faith. But Hunter also guards a secret torment: an attraction to other men.
When a career plunge causes muscle tension, Hunter seeks relief through Gabe
Hellman, a handsome massage therapist. What begins as friendship takes a sudden
turn and forces the two friends to reconsider the boundaries of attraction.
Along the road to self-discovery, Hunter’s secret is exposed to the community.
Now Hunter must face the demons of his past and confront his long-held fears
about reputation, sexual identity, and matters of soul.
A
story about fear and faith, grace and redemption, Between These Walls braves the crossroads of love and religion to
question who we are—and who we will become.
CHAPTER 1
Had Hunter seen what he thought he’d seen?
Had he given Hunter a second glance?
At twenty-six years old, after so many
years, Hunter wished the temptation would release its grip on him.
Hunter’s heartbeat increased at the
possibility of mutual attraction, but he steadied himself.
Surrounded on three sides by frosted glass
walls, the conference room sat in an interior section on the fourth floor of a
suburban professional building. Pipeline Insurance Corporation offered
extensive packages for life, home and automobile coverage. Its customers ranged
from individuals to small businesses to large corporations.
Hunter had pursued this potential client by
phone for three months, trying to get one foot in the door to explain the
benefits of his own company’s products.
Two weeks ago, he had secured an
appointment for ten o’clock this morning with Jake Geyer, a manager in the technology
services department.
Hunter had expected a few Pipeline staff
members to attend the demo session, but at the last minute, the others had
canceled. This occurred often with Hunter’s cold-call appointments and, after
four years in sales, Hunter had learned not to take offense when it happened.
Side by side, Hunter and Jake sat at a
large, mahogany table, facing the frosted glass walls. The polished surface of
the table cast a reflection of Hunter’s laptop computer.
“So the program offers dynamic address
formatting to satisfy postal standards,” Hunter explained. “The program is
Internet-based and interacts live with our central server. As you know, to
obtain discounted rates for bulk mail, the postal service has strict
requirements that vendors must meet. Our program ensures compliance at the
point of entry.”
Jake stroked the stubble beneath his chin
as he examined the sample data-entry program on Hunter’s laptop screen. With
one arm bent at the elbow, the sleeve of his polo shirt wrapped taut around his
bicep, revealing enough shape to suggest Jake worked out. Jake wore stylish,
olive-green glasses, which blended well with his dirty-blond hair and enhanced
the color of his green eyes. Hunter estimated Jake was only a few years older
than he. Thirty years old at best.
“I understand how meeting those standards
benefits us,” Jake said, “but our data entry staff keeps a printed document of
postal standards on hand. One question my director would ask is, ‘What does
your product accomplish that we can’t accomplish ourselves?’”
Hunter had anticipated that question. Every
prospective client asked the same question during their first meeting. But
Hunter, who worked with the software every day and understood its benefits, had
learned to respect his prospective clients and allow them to grasp the concept
at their own paces. Moreover, Hunter had discovered that he could read between
the lines. Individuals would express their own needs and desires through their
comments and questions, which, in turn, helped Hunter customize a case for how
his own company’s product offered a solution. For Hunter, the sales pitch
focused less on convincing a client of their need than presenting his product
as a hero that would save the day. Hunter believed in
the product he sold. He viewed his visits as opportunities to enhance the work
of others.
“That’s a good question,” Hunter said. “You
mentioned on the phone that you enter a large collection of records to your
database throughout each day, plus a load of address changes when people move
to new apartments or buy new homes. I assume you run quality-assurance reports
on those entries?”
“Yes, we deliver the reports to our data
entry staff each morning.”
“Do you ever find errors in those updates?”
“Nothing major. The data entry clerk might
enter a wrong digit in the street address. They might spell out ‘Street’ or
‘Post Office’ instead of using the postal abbreviations. Things like that.”
“That’s typical for my prospective clients.
The benefit our program would bring is to eliminate that second step from your
business process. By formatting your addresses automatically upon entry, we
eliminate user errors, which increases your efficiency rate and allows your
data entry staff to start its day entering new data instead of revisiting the
prior day’s work.”
Hunter glanced over at Jake, who nodded.
Hunter sensed Jake had absorbed and understood the details.
Shifting in his seat, Hunter scooted so his
back settled flush against the back of his chair. For the last few months, he’d
felt recurring soreness in his lower back. Though frequent and lasting several
hours at a time, the aches didn’t occur daily. The pain level ranged from minor
discomfort to occasional bursts that would stab his lower back like a knife. He
could sense it wasn’t a medical issue, though, and attributed it to stress on
the job.
Hunter continued his pitch to Jake Geyer.
“Plus,” Hunter added, “we receive regular
updates to verify the physical existence of homes and buildings, which helps
prevent a wrong digit or character in your address. Our data ensures that, yes
indeed, a building actually sits at 1234 Main Street and hasn’t been torn down.
That would increase your deliverability rates and eliminate the cost of mailing
material to addresses that don’t exist. You can take the money that used to go
down the drain in returned mail and reinvest it to increase your profit
margin.”
Jake glanced over at Hunter, held his gaze
for a few seconds, the way he had several minutes ago, then examined the laptop
screen again. Though Hunter wasn’t sure, he thought he caught a change in
Jake’s eyes during contact. Jake’s pupils had dilated a trace.
Why did he glance at me?
Sure, it’s a normal human response in a
business scenario. Yet Hunter couldn’t help but wonder if Jake was focused on
Hunter’s explanation of the program, or if he’d used the glance as an excuse to
take a quick inventory of Hunter’s eyes.
Jake tapped the edge of the laptop. “So
this is the program here?”
“Sure is. I can walk you through a demo if
you want.”
Jake slid his chair toward the laptop,
leaned in closer to the screen. And closer to Hunter.
Jake set his glasses aside to view the
screen, so perhaps he was nearsighted. Hunter noticed Jake’s eyes were closer
to olive than standard green.
Hunter picked up the scent of a fresh shower.
The scent was pleasant but possessed a sharp tang. Men’s shower gel.
Hunter’s heart rate began to roll with the
steady pace of a treadmill. A quiver ran up his thighs. His right arm rested on
the mahogany table an inch from Jake’s.
Hunter wished he didn’t enjoy the
proximity. Such simplicity would come to his life if he could free himself from
the appeal he found in other men.
When in the company of others, often he
wondered if he was the only one who struggled like this.
He forced himself to refocus on the screen
ahead.
“Here’s a sample program for a magazine
subscription company.” Hunter waved his finger over the program window. “The
company isn’t real.”
“How about the colors and layout? Our
software application is branded with our logos and a couple of company Intranet
links. Is this what the program would look like if we purchased it?”
If we purchased it? When
a client started talking about purchase scenarios, Hunter considered it a
positive indicator. Hunter smiled with fresh vigor. He stretched his lower back
to the left, then to the right.
“We integrate our software into yours.
We’ve done it that way with all our clients. Our product is compatible across
any format you throw our way.” He pointed to a small icon of a company logo
beside the address line. “We incorporate that little icon into your screen in
case you’d want to visit our website to research a particular address further.
Other than that, you won’t notice a difference onscreen. It’s seamless;
everything else gets woven in behind the scenes. We store our data on our own
server, so you maintain full privacy of your data.”
Hunter paused to allow the logistics to
soak in, swiped his finger along the laptop’s touchpad, then tapped it. “We’ll
create a new record for Hunter Carlisle.”
As he hit the keys on the keyboard, Hunter
kept his eyes glued to the screen. But in his peripheral vision, he saw Jake
tilt his head and run his fingers through his hair, the way you do to make
yourself appear casual. But then, as Hunter continued speaking, he noticed Jake
had broken his gaze from the computer. Jake’s irises moved toward Hunter’s face
and lingered there, assuming Hunter didn’t notice. Hunter felt a flutter in his
chest. He could hear the soft sound of Jake’s breathing.
If Hunter could create a product, he would
invent a method to read another person’s mind. In times like these, a
mind-reading tool would allow him to decipher why Jake studied him with such
intentness. For all Hunter knew, Jake could be trying to figure out whether
Hunter was an honest sales person who believed in his own product. Yet Hunter
couldn’t help but wish for a kindred spirit, someone who struggled with the
same attractions he did.
For someone to find him attractive—a mutual attraction.
He wanted to ask but knew he couldn’t mix personal
affairs with professional business. Not that he would dare to out himself
anyway.
Hunter cleared his throat. Jake’s eyes
darted back to the screen.
Okay, he didn’t want Hunter to know he’d
sneaked that glance. The question for Hunter was, Why?
Statistics would render chances slim that
Jake held any attraction toward Hunter. Hunter knew the percentage of those who
concealed homosexual urges was small. But he also knew that percentage wasn’t
zero. Hunter remained aware that, with all the people who crossed his path in a
year,someone out there harbored the same secret he did.
The question was, who are those someones? For
Hunter, attempting to find the answer carried, at minimum, a heavy risk. And
Hunter hadn’t sharpened his senses enough to detect those someones on
his own.
The what-if scenarios, like the one in
which he found himself right now, felt like mental torture: a continual flow of
questions never asked and never answered. After all these years, it exhausted
him.
“In my mailing address, I typed the full
words ‘Street’ and ‘Suite.’ Also, I typed ‘4738’ as our street number—but our
address is 4739. There’s no building at 4738,” Hunter said. “Now, keep an eye
on that address line when I move to the next field.”
When Hunter moved his arm, he brushed Jake’s
arm by accident.
But Jake didn’t move his arm right away.
Usually others did. It took Jake an extra second before he even blinked.
With a hit of the Tab key, the cursor moved
to the next data field. In the address line, as Hunter had predicted, the street
number changed to 4739 and abbreviations replaced the full words Hunter had
mentioned.
“And that’s how it works, in real time,”
Hunter said. “Without those abbreviations, a piece of mail to that address
would not have qualified for a discounted mailing rate. And with a nonexistent
street number, unless your postal worker delivered it on his own initiative,
the piece of mail would have returned to you, with the cost of postage wasted.
And with our program, your data entry staff wouldn’t have needed to correct the
address in the morning, despite the address errors typed into the record.
Multiply that by the thousands of addresses you enter and use per year, and it
can add up to a lot of savings.”
With that, Hunter allowed his words to
settle. He would let the prospective client have the next word, to which Hunter
would respond.
Jake leaned back in his chair. He crossed
his leg, stroked his chin.
“I can see the benefit behind it,” Jake
said. “The question for us would be, ‘Does the benefit outweigh the cost?’
That’s the first thing my director would ask. Our data entry people enter 95
percent of the data in its correct format. So for those remaining cases, are we
spending more money on data entry hours than we would spend on the cost of the
product? Looking at the cost structure you emailed me yesterday—well, I hate to
say it, but I just don’t see how we’d end up ahead.”
Hunter dreaded that response. As good as
his company’s product was, and as much money as it could save a client, their
current efficiency rate proved a wild card every time. Hunter had no way of
knowing those efficiency rates when he entered into these initial meetings, and
clients tended to avoid answering that question if he asked too early.
Jake’s reply wasn’t good. Demonstration
meetings like these were uphill battles from the onset, so Hunter entered them
prepared to counter a variety of possible scenarios. In each case, he would
help the potential client see the long-term value his product offered. But in
one sentence, perhaps without realizing it, Jake had all but shut down Hunter’s
case. In one sentence, Jake had addressed not only their present situation, but
also applied high-level analysis and reached a conclusion. And he also served
as gatekeeper to everyone else at Pipeline Insurance Corporation.
Hunter decided to go for the next-best
scenario. If he couldn’t sell the full product, he would try to sell one of his
company’s smaller products.
“I understand what you’re saying,” Hunter
said. “Although the solution I demonstrated for you is our top-notch, flagship
product, we also offer a range of other services to help improve efficiency.”
In a halfhearted manner, Jake thumbed
through a brochure Hunter had laid on the table earlier. “Do all of your
services require integration into the software? Do you offer a standalone
product we could use on an as-needed basis? That would reduce our cost of
implementation.”
Hunter winced inside. He saw where this
conversation was headed, and it wasn’t headed toward a sale. He knew he
couldn’t offer a viable alternative to meet their needs. The discomfort in
Hunter’s back inflamed further.
“The software-integration aspect is a
foundational piece of all our products. In fact, it’s one quality that sets us
apart from other data providers because it provides a seamless user
experience.”
Jake shifted in his seat. “I’m afraid you’d
have a tough time selling that to my director. With the upfront costs that
would come with integrating the software, and the work involved by the tech
staff on our end … I can tell you right now, he won’t go for it. I can pass
along to him anything you’d like me to pass along, but I’ve walked through
enough projects with him to tell you there won’t be a sale.” He drummed his
fingers once upon the table. “To be honest, I could tell from the literature
you emailed yesterday that the software wouldn’t be a good match for us, but I
wanted to give you a chance to stop by anyway, in case I’d misunderstood some
of the details.”
Jake glanced at Hunter. Hunter caught a
twinge of disappointment in his eyes.
“Man, I’m sorry,” said Jake, one young
adult to another. “Working together would’ve been good.”
Hunter appreciated the remark. He also
wondered if Jake had meant his comment about working together at face value, or
if he’d referred to getting to see Hunter more
often, had the deal worked out. Hunter couldn’t decipher the answer. Though he
would never admit it to a soul, the latter notion incited a longing inside him.
“Hey, I understand.” Hunter bit his lower
lip, started shutting down his laptop, and retrieved a flash drive from his
saddle bag. “I’ll leave this flash drive with you. It contains a demo of our
product for you to pass along to your director. If he expresses interest, feel
free to contact me, okay?”
Jake reached out to receive the flash
drive. Their fingertips brushed. Jake’s eyes caught Hunter’s again, as if
searching for a potential next move. Hunter wanted more time to see what, if
anything, hid behind the signals—or non-signals—he’d detected from Jake.
In the end, however, professionalism
disallowed either man from asking questions or taking another step. In a social
context, or if they knew each other better, perhaps they would have had more
flexibility.
But today they didn’t.
Hunter hoped the forlorn expression in
Jake’s eyes meant what he wished it did.
Chances were, it didn’t. But the fact that
someone like Jake—a peer, an equal, and a handsome one at that—might have
looked at Hunter and considered something more …
It left Hunter with a surge of warmth
combined with the ache of another letdown.
Whether out of courtesy or a desire to
savor the final moments their paths would cross, Hunter didn’t know, but Jake
walked him down to the lobby.
They shook hands. They exchanged formal
smiles. And Hunter walked out the door as Jake turned back toward the elevator.
Five steps out the door, with more than
enough time for Jake to have reached the elevator, Hunter glanced back.
Through the glass walls of the lobby, he
noticed Jake lingering at the elevator, glancing back at him.
The elevator door opened. Jake seemed to
hesitate for a split second, as if caught between options of what to do next,
then turned and entered the elevator.
Hunter nodded.
Another opportunity … vanished.
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